LLangasty Retreat – Spiritual Growth
One of the important purposes of the retreat was to give the participants time alone with God. To help guide us in this time, Sam introduced us to Imaginative Contemplative Prayer. Before I say a few words about this I want to briefly introduce Sam to you.
Sam, short for Samantha, is a Pastor in the United Reformed Church in the UK. It is a denomination originally formed in 1971 by combining the Presbyterian Church of England and the Congregational Church in England and Wales. Its theology is Calvinist. She is a kind, compassionate, deeply spiritual woman, with a strong love for Jesus and a reverence and awe for the cross and all that it has accomplished. She was the perfect counterpoint to Mike and Helen on the retreat in that she provided times for reflection and they challenged us with deep thoughts about the Kingdom and healing. They engaged our minds and hearts. Several times a day Sam would call us back to times of reflection and conversation with God, talking with and listening to God, engaging our spirits and hearts. It really was a great combination: challenging us and giving us time to relax and converse with God.
The type of prayer Sam used is called Imaginative Contemplative Prayer. This type of prayer is controversial in some Christian circles. It is closely related, but not the same, as Contemplative Prayer. In his book ‘Kundalini Warning: Are False Spirits Invading the Church?’ (which is an excellent synthesis of the spiritual excesses of the Charismatic Movement), Andrew Strom calls contemplative prayer a clever repackaging of transcendental meditation. In one of his latest books ‘Prayer’, Tim Keller looks closely at various ways of listening to God, including types of meditations that are similar to ICP, and says that within limits, they have a place in our prayer life. However, I have since read (somewhere, I can’t remember where) that Keller, although he presents a very balanced perspective on mystical prayer, has received a lot of negative mail on this subject.
Why this opposition in some Christian circles? First, these ways of praying can all be grouped into medieval Catholic mysticism. The Reformation threw these ways of praying out and the mainstream Protestant Church has never really reclaimed them, not because they are necessarily ‘bad’, but because they are Catholic. Second, there is a fear among Evangelical Protestants that the emptying of your mind in these mystical times of meditation allows the mind to be filled with thoughts from the enemy. Keller captures this fear in his book ‘Prayer’:
“It is possible to use techniques of meditation and imagination to create changes in consciousness that are not tied at all to the reality of who God is. For example, it can be an extraordinarily powerful experience to vividly imagine Jesus walking into your room and speaking words of affirmation and assurance to you (which is what basically happened to me. Read on). Or you can imagine him coming into some past incident in your life, intervening, defending you, and embracing you. In such an exercise it would be easy to put words in Jesus’ mouth that directly contradict his teaching in the Bible.”
True; there is danger here. But to suggest that Jesus does not enter our minds and hearts through imaginative meditation, or at least can do that, is to limit our access to Him. Throughout the Bible, God breaks into His children’s lives in dreams and visions. He has given us an imagination as a place where we can encounter His presence and holiness. God works in many ways. Why do we continually try to limit him? If we truly have the Spirit of Christ in us and if we have the mind of Christ, both realities that Paul describes, why is it a problem if God chooses to communicate through these avenues? It isn’t a problem; it is when we distort, corrupt, and abuse this means of communication for our own purposes that we get into trouble.
I think the key phrase in Keller’s warning is “that directly contradict his teaching in the Bible”. Here we are confronted with the ongoing debate in our walk with God about balance. There is a difficulty in holding the exterior Word of the Bible together with the interior, indwelling Word of the Spirit. But to rely entirely on doctrinal knowledge of God at the expense of a direct encounter with the indwelling Spirit through spiritual meditation is to be out of balance. Similarly, to rely entirely on our meditative experiences with the Spirit, at the expense of rigorous understanding of Scripture, is also out of balance.
John Owen, the 17th-century nonconformist Protestant Pastor (nonconformist means he did not conform to the governance and usages of the established Church of England), said this about mystical prayer, “Yet I must say that I had rather be among them who, in the actings of their love and affection unto Christ, do fall into some irregularities and excesses in the manner of expressing it . . . than among those who, professing themselves to be Christians, do almost disavow their having any thoughts of or affections unto the person of Christ.” In other words, he is saying that “if we are going to be imbalanced, better that we be doctrinally weak and have a vital prayer life and a real sense of God in our heart than that we get all our doctrine straight and be cold and spiritually hard” (Keller, Prayer, pg. 182).
Ok. Enough of this background. You get the point.
Imaginative Contemplative Prayer is a personal, quiet time with Jesus. It begins with this prayer “Jesus – protect, guide, and bless my imagination and all of my faculties”. Then we turn to an assigned verse or passage of Scripture. We read it slowly and silently, letting each word sink into our hearts (Lectio Divina). We are told to place ourselves in the scene. What are you seeing, what are your emotions? In some passages, like when Peter gets out of the boat and walks toward Jesus in the storm, we are asked to see the scene through Peter’s eyes. And then we sit in silence and listen for God to speak to us. I think of this time as a gift to God – my full attention given to Him in complete silence.
On the retreat we were given passages of Scripture to meditate over twice each day. We spent between 30 and 60 minutes on each passage, depending upon the person. Then we reconvened and shared (if we wanted to) what God said to us. The results were mixed. Some had clear pictures in their minds of their encounter with Jesus. Some saw only darkness or ‘snow’ like on an old TV screen. Judy saw darkness each time until her last ICP. Then she saw a green light and heard the word ‘forgiveness’. She was excited. It was a breakthrough.
One of the passages we were told to mediate on was Matthew 14: 33 “The Kingdom of God is like a treasure hidden in the field”. We were instructed to mediate on this verse, to imagine the field, and to see for ourselves what the treasure was. Here is what I saw, heard, and felt. After that, I have written what the words and gifts of Jesus mean to me.
Instead of a field, I saw an apple orchard. Rows of apple trees heavy with big, red apples. The field was fruitful. In the center of the orchard, down a long row between trees, stood a man holding a long-handled shovel. We waved to me and shouted “come over here”. As I approached, I knew he was Jesus.
Jesus told me that He had gifts for me, but that I had to dig them up. He handed me the shovel and told me to “dig here”, next to His feet. I began to dig. The soil was loose but still it took some effort. When the hole was about 3-feet deep the shovel stuck something hard. It was a box, a chest really, like an old fashioned chest you would see in a movie about pirates. Jesus helped me heave the chest out of the hole.
He told me that there was a gift from Him to me inside the chest. I asked Him why he buried the gift – why didn’t He just give it to me? He told me that if I worked for the gift it would mean more to me. Ok. I opened the box. As I recall it didn’t have a lock. Inside was a partition dividing the box into two parts. In each part there was a single sheet of paper with one word on each sheet. The paper in the left compartment had the word ‘acceptance’ written on it. The paper in the right compartment had the word ‘repentance’ written on it. Jesus told me that “these are my gifts for you – the gift of total acceptance and the gift of true repentance.” Then Jesus told me that both gifts were irrevocable and would set me free. Finally, I got the sense that while these gifts were for me, they were also for all who believed. In fact, a big component of faith, I thought then, was to believe that we are accepted and that we do have (and need to exercise) the gift of true repentance.
That’s what I saw in my imagination. But that experience did not end there. I began to understand in my heart what Jesus was telling me about these gifts. Total acceptance is the holy grail of human existence. We long for acceptance; we are made to be valued and accepted. One of the great destructive consequences of the Fall was that the spiritual DNA of Adam, which the human race has inherited, is a spirit of rejection, including the fear of rejection. Humans will do almost anything (perhaps anything) to be accepted by the world around them. In giving me this gift Jesus told me that His total acceptance is the gateway to freedom; all the other gifts like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. depend upon my belief/faith that I am totally accepted by Him. Until I know this deep in my heart I will be vulnerable to the world. If I am still walking in the fear of rejection, because I have not received His total acceptance, the world has power over me – you have power over me if I crave your acceptance. By withholding it from me you can bend me to your will. Freedom and the life that Jesus wants to restore me to rests on the bedrock of of knowing that I am totally accepted. To fear rejection is to be a slave. There is no peace or joy in slavery.
In fact, I think that one of the most important elements of faith is to believe, no matter what the world (and Satan) tries to convince me of, that I am accepted and valued by God. Why else would the enemy keep trying to convince me that I am not good enough, not worthy enough? Not good enough or worthy enough for what? For God’s total acceptance. But I am accepted. Jesus has told me in many different ways – Scripture, His work in my life, and in this time of ICP.
When I received this word from Him I experienced another sensation. Deep in my heart I was spiritually and emotionally healed. I was set free from the negative thoughts and opinions of others. It is not that I was totally immune to their opinions of me. God can use them for my good. It was that I was not afraid of what others thought.
The next day, as I was walking down the stairs to breakfast, God spoke another word to me. He said “you are not only accepted, you are celebrated”. Wow!!! What a great message from Him. By the time I had reached the bottom of the stairs, He added “and this message is for all of my children. Tell them all that they are totally accepted and celebrated.”
The gift of total acceptance is the gift that unlocks all the other gifts that God has prepared for us. Until we receive and accept the gift of acceptance, we are operating on only half of our spiritual cylinders.
The other gift was the gift of repentance. God showed me how the two gifts are related. As long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, as long as I walk in the spirit of humility, as long as I walk with Him in the Kingdom of God, I walk in the certainty and power of His acceptance. But when I take my eyes off of Jesus and place them on me, living in the kingdom of self, doubt sets in and I begin to lose sight of His acceptance. I open a door for those other voices. So, to walk in the power of His total acceptance I need to remain in His Kingdom, focused on Jesus and the cross; total connection and intimacy.
That is how the gifts of acceptance and repentance are related. Repentance is a gift, as I have explained in other posts. I don’t repent just of what I have done, that is confession and it is not the same as repentance. I repent of who I am. Repentance is a turning away, but more importantly it is a change in my mind and heart; it is transformation. I cannot wake up one morning and say, in my power, I will no longer be addicted to whatever. I need the Holy Spirit. That is the gift. He is ready to obliterate the addiction, but I must partner with Him. So, when I step outside of the Kingdom of God, which we all do all the time, the gift of repentance is available. I can repent and as I do God gently (most of the time) and graciously draws me back into His Kingdom where I can once again receive the gift of acceptance. Do you see how this works (or at least how I believe it works)? The gift of repentance is not a liberty to sin; repentance is often accompanied by sorrow and remorse. It is pure grace; a part of our lives with Jesus.
So much came out of that 30 minutes with God using Imaginative Contemplative Prayer. Healing, peace, freedom. Really, a changed life. And the insight that this is not just for me, it is for all of us, all of His children. OK, it is more personal for me because I had the experience. But still, you are included in the gift if you are a follower of Jesus – an adopted son or daughter of the Creator of the Universe and therefore a brother or sister to Jesus.
God used a method that some in the Church think is New Age. But the sweetness and Scriptural accuracy of what He told me could only come from Jesus.
We ended each day with Compline, the ancient service of evening prayers. Here are some of the words we prayed before retiring for the night:
“Come I this night to the Father, come I this night to the Son,
Come I to the Holy Spirit powerful;
Come I this night to God, come I this night with Christ,
Come I with the Spirit of kindness,
Come I to Thee, Jesus. Jesus shelter me.
You are totally accepted. Jesus is your shelter and He is your life.
Hallelujah!!
PS. I have a one-page worksheet with guidelines for ICP. Let me know if you would like a copy and I will try to get one to you.