Struggling With the Next Post — And A Prayer Request

I don’t know why, but I am really struggling with the post I am trying to write now. I thought it was going to be straight forward. I am trying to describe how God’s holiness manifested in the infinite perfection of His person and His creation requires His wrath in the presence of ‘sin’. He cannot let sin go unpunished for several reasons.

Sounds simple. But the more I dug into the topic the more confused I became, which usually means to me there are some gaps in my understanding — which is not surprising. There is a lot of mystery in  the holiness of God, and at some point I will need to say “and that is the way it is.” But, I am not there yet; I sense there is more God wants to show me. I am still trying to sort out the reasons for my ‘writers block’. Maybe I am not supposed to write about this or there is some serious warfare going on.

But in my ‘struggle’ I went back and reread my last post. After reading what I wrote, I changed the wording in some paragraphs. I’ll be honest. I also struggle, based on some passages in Scripture, with the idea that a Christian cannot lose their salvation — which means to me that once they enter the Kingdom of God (which we are invited to do here and now, on earth) they cannot be ‘thrust out’. But, as I reread some of the New Testament scriptures I quoted in that post in which people were ‘cast out’ I came away believing (I think) that Jesus and Paul were referring to either Jews who refused to accept Jesus as Messiah or men and women who assumed they were in the Kingdom of God, but never really were. Men and women who supposed themselves Christians, but even though they seemed to follow Jesus, continued to live in the kingdom of the world, living in their own power and finding their value and acceptance in self. They were unrepentant. These ideas are a bit different from what I wrote in the post.

If you reread what I wrote (which means I am assuming you read it in the first place) you will notice some revisions, reflecting these ideas. Not a lot of words were changed, but I think the changes are significant. But, honestly — my heart is not settled on this issue. I wish it were; that is, settled on the ‘correct answer’.  My life would be a lot easier. Is this God ‘disturbing’ me or is it my pride?

So, I am struggling to write on several levels: First, to write about God’s wrath as a consequence of God’s holiness, which should be relatively but is not; and second, the unmentionable — which I will mention — can we really, sincerely accept Jesus as savior and then at some point reject life in the Kingdom of God? People a lot smarter than me answer this question with an emphatic “no!”. I guess if Jesus leads me into that quagmire, I’ll follow. But I had better be sure it is Him leading the way. If that is not clear, I’ll accept the predominant teaching of the Church and move on (like I said, is my reluctance the Lord or my pride). If you read this, and the Lord leads you, can you pray for my wisdom, discernment, and the words to write? I can really use your help. Thanks.

Grace and peace,

John