Home From Japan!!

The trip to Japan with Seumean was a huge blessing for me. I fell in love with the country and the people. Our ministry was well received and I believe many people were set free spiritually and emotionally from hurt and pain. Some were healed physically. Each day we saw the power of God and continually felt His presence. According to Scripture, Jesus came and died so that we might be free — free from oppression, bondage, and darkness. He showed us this truth again and again in Japan. And everyone we met was carrying hurt and pain. Some of the pain was very deep, commonly manifesting in hatred for themselves.

Once again we ‘discovered’ that when we bring our anger (or depression, hurt, frustration, disappointment, hatred, etc — all forms of anger to one degree or another; as well as shame and fear) to God and then tell the Lord, “Lord, I choose today to give all of this anger at _______ (the person’s name) to you”, Jesus shows up and usually sets us free, if we are willing and able to release our anger to Him. We tell them to close their eyes and give the anger to Jesus, saying “gather all of this anger together and give it to the Lord. Some put it in a bag or a box. However you choose to do it, give it to the Lord in you mind.” Many people had a vision of Jesus taking away the anger. Others heard a word from Jesus like, “I love you. I will always be with you.” Others just got a sense of warmth, lightness, or peace. Almost everyone felt relief and when they checked their memories, the anger was gone. Their memories of the event that produced the anger were peaceful. That is freedom.

In the few instances when they could not release their anger I asked them, “do you want the Lord to help?” They all said yes. I prayed, ‘Lord, help them.” Then they prayed to release the anger again. In every case, they were able to let go of their anger and receive peace.

Many of us confuse forgiveness with release from anger. It is one thing to forgive someone who hurt us. It is another thing to let go of the anger associated with the memory of the offense. Sometimes one involves the other. But most of the time the anger in the memory is still present even if we have forgiven and ‘moved on’. That anger is like a seed, and until it is dealt with it can produce a harvest of bitterness and even depression.

Throughout the trip I was ‘tormented’ (maybe a bit too strong of a word, but close enough) by memories of people in my past who were angry with me. There were a dozen or so different memories, but each flashed through my mind for a second or so, usually at night. Still, they were disturbing — the memories caused shame and hurt. I asked Seumean about them and he said to gather them all up and treat them as a single memory that I could take to the Lord. Truth to tell, I was too tired at night to do this, so I just shrugged them off.

When I got home I asked Jesus about these memories — “Jesus, why do these memories of people who were angry with me keep coming up in my mind? Haven’t I forgiven and blessed them?” I heard Jesus tell me I was carrying their anger in my heart as if it were my own. The shame and hurt were, for the most part, not because I had done something intentionally to hurt these people, but because I didn’t want anyone to be angry with me — a good definition of one of our principal idolatries, “man’s desire to be honored by men”. So, I confessed this sin.

Then Jesus instructed me to gather up all the shame and hurt associated with these memories in my mind. I did, and I had a vision. I saw the hurt and shame in a big bag, almost like a huge blown-up balloon. Then I saw Jesus hand me a sharp pin and tell me to puncture the bag. I did, and the bag ‘deflated’, got smaller and smaller, and then finally disappeared completely. Sounds crazy. But the power of those memories to evoke shame and hurt was gone. I felt a strong sense of relief and release. I know in my heart that the power those memories had over me was broken. Jesus healed me emotionally.

Those memories had a grip on my heart. When they hit, I became impatient, kind of angry, and inwardly focused. The memories controlled me to some extent. They controlled how I saw myself (not good enough) and how I interacted with other people. I believe that Jesus set me free from these negative behaviors when I was healed emotionally. This was the type of healing many in Japan experienced.

Emotional healing and its cousin, spiritual deliverance, are not nice-to-have. They are essential to Kingdom life, especially to our ability to release the Kingdom of God. They are especially important for pastors, all who carry in their hearts more emotional hurt and pain than most of us know. Until we are healed emotionally and spiritually we cannot fully love each other, hear from God, release the Kingdom, be set free from addictions, love God, or become the men and women God created us to be.

I saw and learned all of this in Japan. I am happy to be back. There really is no place like home. But now I have spiritual and emotional ties with the brothers and sisters in Japan and a deeper appreciation for what it means to be a Christian in that country. Now I know how to pray for them, individually and collectively.

Thanks to all of you who prayed for me and Seumean. Your prayers were magnified and felt by all of us — not just me and Seumean, but by everyone we ministered to in that country. God bless you.

Grateful,

John